Today I turn 25. I know that isn’t very old. In fact, my friends at the nursing home I volunteer at would tell me to get back to them when I’m 90. But I believe there’s some wisdom to be had at all ages.
24 was a big year for me. I left my corporate job to freelance full time. I finally traveled to Russia after years of reading Tolstoy. I began working on my first book. These are a few things I learned along the way. (Don’t tell the ladies at the nursing home).
1.
Risk is an essential part of a full life. It’s scary, and it doesn’t always work out. But there’s limited joy to be had in your comfort zone.
2.
Give back any way you can. I don’t have big money to fund medical research or house the homeless. But visiting dementia patients at the nursing home has brought unexpected fullness to my life. It doesn’t have to be big, but it’s important to give back.
3.
Always be aware of your own privilege. It doesn’t mean you haven’t also worked hard. But being aware of the advantages and help you’ve had along the way brings perspective and humility.
4.
Every day is worth dressing up for. Waiting for a special occasion? This is it.
5.
It’s not cool to be sleep deprived and sick and overworked. In college I felt this culture of well-I-work-hardest. It took me a long time to separate from that competition of suffering. Go to your doctor’s appointments. Drink water. Sleep.
6.
Emotions and work flow are cyclical. There will be productive, happy, ambitious days, and lazy, gloomy, unmotivated days. That’s okay.
7.
Comparison really is the thief of joy. Instagram lives aren’t the whole picture, travel blogs aren’t the whole picture (even mine). Don’t diminish your accomplishments because of someone else’s.
8.
Cool down. Nothing is as scary or stressful after a good night’s sleep.
9.
Communication is key. In work, in relationships, even with yourself. It’s always better to be honest and upfront about how you’re feeling.
10.
Don’t stress about forgetting something when you go on a trip. Aside from prescriptions and your passport, you can almost always pick up what you missed at your destination.
11.
Things never happen the way you expect. You’ll reach your goals, but it may take an unusual road to get there.
12.
Be kind. You never know what people are going through. Kindness is the best medicine, and frankly, the best revenge.
13.
Speaking out is important, especially in these political times. But listening is equally essential. Know when to assert yourself, and when to take a back seat.
14.
Trauma and grief are like luggage. You start out with an unbearable weight and every day you lose a little. You can never check the bag, but you learn to pack lighter.
15.
Never let being alone hinder you. I have never let being unattached stop me from doing anything. I’ve traveled, had experiences, and built the life I’ve always wanted by myself. That independence and self sufficiency is my favorite thing about myself. So you’re single, so your friends are busy, do it anyway.
16.
Your time is valuable, treat it as such. A few years ago I said yes to everything, extra work, extra dates, extra favors. Now I’m more conscientious about spending my time and energy on what’s important to me.
17.
Be intentional about what media you consume. I’m a voracious reader but this year was the first that I intentionally selected books by authors and on topics very different from my usual choices. It’s been a wonderful, eye-opening experience to see what else is out there. Whether it’s television, books, news, or even music, try not to get stuck in one lane.
18.
Maintain your relationships. Send thank you card (yes, by mail). Call your grandparents. Celebrate your friends’ milestones. It’s easy to neglect these things when we’re busy with work and life. But friends and family are two of the most important things we have. Put in the work, it’s worth it.
19.
Be grateful. Every single day I think about how grateful I am to have this life, this support system, this city. Always be thankful for the abundant good in your life, and vocalize your gratitude to the people who contribute to that good.
20.
Networking is KEY. Every opportunity I’ve had has come from swapping business cards, taking coffee meetings, and making contacts. Network everywhere you go because you never know where your next opportunity will come from.
21.
You can’t buy a new reputation. The world is small. Industries are small. Don’t stress over people spreading false gossip, but bear in mind the reflection your actions have on you.
22.
Pursue your passion any way you can. Your days are numbered. All of ours are. Do you really want to spend them doing something you hate?
23.
Treating yourself is a dangerous game. When it comes to money the “I deserve this” attitude is like quicksand. You deserve something nice, but that something nice can be a walk in the park, a few hours off to read a book, or sleeping in. Save your money, your future self will thank you.
24.
Not everyone is going to like you. That’s fine. It’s most important that you like yourself.
25.
If you find a piece of art that moves you and you’re able to, buy it. Emotional connection to art is a rare and beautiful thing.
Photos by Rebecca Gatto Photography.
What a great learning you have in 25 years. More learnings to come.